Introduction, written; April 21, 2009
scroll down for lastest dates
Read my life history HERE
Hello I thought I would introduce myself to you. My name is Vickie.
I am 37 yrs old. Just to let you know you can come back to this page and see the updates I add. I will continue to write here and add new upcoming events.
I am a grandmother to two beautiful boy's. Adley will be 4 yrs old on May 2 and Julian turned 2 in October. Both have grown so fast. Mie Mie misses you...wink
I am a loving mother. I have two beautiful daughters, Amber and Courtney aka Noodle. My oldest is Amber, she is 22 yrs old now...yeah I know ...I was a child having a child but I DID IT ON MY OWN and proved many wrong! My youngest hit the big 18. I have a big heart when it comes to loving other children. I rasied many of my daughter's friends. I always say, a child has many parents parenting them. It does not matter how much you think you did all the work but honestly with my experiences I have raised most of my girls friends because they can't go to their parents for this reason or that reason. It's a job within itself and it feels good to know you had a hand in their up bringing. I am always trying to lead people in the right direction...its my nature.
My true love is Lloyd Scott Harris who died in a automobile accident when our daughter was 6 yrs old. I don't question god so I am at peace with my childhood sweetheart passing. This year was the year I began a true relationship with myself. I learned so much over the years and letting go of Scott was a big step for me. I finally celebrated the New Year...2008 will always be a good memory.
I am taken in mind, body and soul...I have no desire to be with anyone...At this point in my life I do not need the headaches men give me.
I will end this with I want aMAN with aPLAN NOT a boy with a toy so please keep your thoughts to yourself when it comes to asking for a relationship or meetings in person!!!!!! I am very happy and satisfied with my life AS ISI ... so on that note...CHECK BACK FOR UPDATES!!!!
December 20, 2009
Sunday
I have so much to tell, where shall I start. I have big news, my Amber is having another baby. It's a boy!...My third grandbaby. She is naming him Wyatt. He is due to be here on April 19th 2010. I am so excited to have another grandson. I am not ready for a granddaughter yet. I know when she comes she will break the bank. Amber promised to try and have her in 3 yrs....giggles
We have a lot of snow. I decided to buy myself a huge xmas present this year since my 2007 Ford Fusion was totaled by a 4 point deer...may Buck rest in peace. Yes I had to name him.
I am so lucky that I decided to buy extra insurance when buyng my 07.. My gap insurance is paying off my loan.
I so deserve a new ride so decided to buy a 2010 Ford Escape limited 4WD.
I named him Blackie Night! Awesome ride!
Click thumbnail above to enlarge picture
My cousin Nicki just said to me a few days ago she wanted a white Christmas. We got it...lol
I am happy I bought my new toy. This whiteout is a memory to never forget. Life is good.
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.
Check out my 2007 Fusion. On November 17th, on my way back from Sam's club, a 4 point buck ran in my path. I was on I-81, 65mph interstate. My car was totaled at 11,500 in damages. Thank the good lord I bought extra insurance cause now I am able to be debt free once again. Then came along a great idea to buy my newest shiney toy, my SUV Blackie. See image above.
I had so much fun today playing in the snow. Honie and Ayla was having fun too. I just wish Buck the deer would have survived the accident. I feel so bad I killed a living breathing and beautiful creature. My happiness is coming with a huge price. RIP Buck!
I am working on a new and improved photo album. The old photo album link is still at your finger tips. See top of page link below. (Be patient for I have a lot to update)
Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone.
Much Love, Vickie
June 9, 2009
Tuesday
Today is just another day to me. I still feel numb. I have notice everyone around me has a happy face on. I am trying to move forward with life. It just seems something is holding me back.
I had a dream a few nights ago that woke me up with fear. I won't go into it now but I am sure one day it will be known...
A friend told me today her mother is in the hospital and she will not make it this time. I am so sad these days with death surrounding me. I know I should feel happiness when a love one goes to the other side. The sadness still fills my heart. I wanted to say so much to my piggie and now I have to wonder if she really knew how much she meant to me.
I don't want to lose another loved one. I know death is part of life but really how come we are left with all the unanswered questions, the surprise, the shock..I believe there is life after death. I truly do...one day I will know for sure.
I went to the court house and got my will updated. I do not want to be fed through a tube. No machines to help me breathe. Just let me go in peace is all I ask...
When Scott died in 1993, I bought 4 burial plots right beside him and grandma Minnie. I was told how dumb I was to pay for these plots. I was too young to worry about death. I think it was a good choice compared to the price of one plot in todays world...I saved thousands of dollars..
anywho I picked out my coffin and paid for my burial cost except I have to leave $600.00 to the person who digs my hole...it is in the safe and ready for use when my time comes...I was told that can not be paid for up front. Now everything is done for my girls so they can just be together the day I leave this world...
ya know it could happen tomorrow....ya never know when your number is up...I want to make sure my loved ones have no worry or burdens...I planned and paid for everything up front..all I want is for my kids to be together that day without the worry of this and that...I want them to dance at my funeral...I am sure they will follow my instructions as stated...giggles
My head is not on staight these days....I laid my phone on top of my hood, which I must add I never done before...anyhow I drove off and forgot it was up there....cost me $100 for that mistake so thank god for insurance but the sad part, I lost all piggies text and pics she sent me on my phone...I wish I could turn back time just so I would have back them up...I knew I should of transferred them to my pc but I said I do it tomorrow and tomorrow never came...
learn from me peeps...Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today...things happen and as you can see things can change in seconds...As for my phone numbers...I lost them all so if your not hearing from me ya know why...send me a text and let me know it is your number...don't think I remember your digits cause I don't...I depend on my phone list lol...not my brain!
I best get my butt moving...must get some things checked off my list today...I have my recipe forum up and running...I offer more then just recipes so stop in and say hello...it cost ya a few seconds of your time to become a member... ;-0)
Do you have any favorite dishes to share?
If Yes...post the recipe(s)
Would you like to start your day off with a giggle?
If Yes...check out, Watch Me *Video & Lookie Here,
both At Your Own Risk folders
Note; Some threads have adult content
...If you would like access to the adult content folder just ask me
Click link below to visit me @ The Bed & Breakfast Recipe Exchange Forum...
http://forums.delphiforums.com/friend4life/start
Huggers and peace to all
May 23, 2009
Saturday
My piglet is an angel now...She was an incredible woman. …She had such incredible patience and calm about her. She was the mother of 1 child, little Stevie and all a handful I’m sure as I remember with my babies.
She said “If you are not bothered about the kudos then anything can be achieved.” She was a caring, loving and giving woman and I hope I can live up to her standard of life. I am very proud to have had her as my daughter, friend and I give praise and love to her and her memory and dedicate this blog entry to her.
Everybody loses a close friend or family member at sometime and we do have to move on no matter how hard it seems. When god calls us and it is our time there is nothing we can do about it….someone once said…
The past is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift - that’s why it’s called the present.
There are sad times of course but take the positive memories and use them in your own life….If there were lessons to learn, then learn them and become more.…Life is a true gift and everything is precious, so live, love and give….
To my beloved Piglet, I love you dearly and thank you for who you were and what you gave to my life….I will never forget you and every tear that falls is a second I feel closer to you…Forever and one more day….I love you with all my heart babaygirl…
I am glad that you lived your life and you found your happiness within ureself. You will always be my piglet…did ya know she only allowed me to call her piglet…I was special.... and I will miss her, terribly. I will surely miss you, Piggie. I will miss your care-free attitude and the positive energy you bring into a room,… I will miss those times when you call me mama Vic.. all those times you made me laugh so hard that my sides hurt, and most of all how you taught me how to be strong…I will be strong for you my piggie!…I love you
Live with confidence, live with love and life with success.
Peace and god bless
April 14, 2009
Everyone is presented with different challenges throughout their lives in order to learn more about themselves and life in general.
From my perspective, you know something, you did something... in all... your part of it...
you are now helping him cheat-lie by allowing it to continue, whether you condone it or not and that my friend will come back on you one day....
yes it will affect your life in a MAJOR way if you keep it to yourself...Just remember when that time comes I told you so...Might as well speak your mind, you’d be sound at heart...
Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate.... It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.
I am not a drama queen...I just want truth to be told... Coming Clean” is always the best answer. If someone makes a mistake, it’s how they handle it and move on that’s important....
Causing pain & confusion to someone else isn’t necessarily the right thing to do...in the end, what comes around goes around
People are not without value, or morals, or all bad because they made a mistake. After all, who hasn’t (made a mistake)...biggest mistake is NOT coming clean...
Ultimately, they should deal with the karma between them, good or bad.
Honesty and Truth will prevail eventually. It always does.
By keeping his-your secret, you are now a part of the lie....
The good lord works in mysterious ways...God IS big - and his ways are complicated!
April 13, 2009
ETA; Thank you so much for all of your input... It's hard to see through the smoke when you are in it so I appreciate the outside perspectives...Let me be more straight..I asked who he was talking to at 3:30 am...no big deal on who but he lied and said Matt...BAD CHOICE...actions spoke louder than the words...will we get through this?..time will tell
Here I am 37 and dealing with "bs" I never thought I would in my age and wisdom! Go figure….To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved in my world. God is definitely testing me…Its so hard but I know that I will never again be able to trust him as before. Things can't just go back to normal. Those knots in the stomach stay there…. The pain is overwhelming at times, and it paralyzes me. I just don't know if I'll ever get over his betrayal. At this very moment I've stopped feeling special. Underneath all the anger, I still love him. But the anger and the pain really blurs this fact for me…
All I am doing by staying with him is rewarding his bad behavior and allowing it to affect me negatively…I am a free spirit and no one will ever have the power to change me…
I'm a fool for doing this to myself. I know it sounds very simple, and if I weren't in this situation and were just merely reading about someone else I would say the same thing, "What are you doing? Find someone else!" But that really is not that simple at all when you are in love with someone that so obviously has major issues that were very well hidden... All I can say is Lord help me and all of you who are going through this same thing…
I believe that unintentional betrayal is a very forgivable offense -- we've all done it at one time or another. A person's true colors come through when it is time to own up to his actions, take responsibility and apologize with all your heart. And, of course, it must NEVER be allowed to happen again. I know repeated unintentional betrayal is a sign of an underlying resentment that should be addressed and SO FAR this is not the case….Why?... cause intentional betrayal says so much about a person's character that it simply cannot be overlooked. The motive behind the betrayal is my focus…he calls his ex cause he feels he needs closure to confront who she is fucking…I know wtf are you doing …lol…Sometimes the motive is to get something, get it before you get it, or just to make sure you don't get it. The first is proactive, the second is reactive and underhanded and the third is mean and vengeful. The first is production, the second is counterproductive and the third is totally unproductive…
So, how do you begin to put it behind you? How do you forgive yourself for being stupid enough to trust someone who has already betrayed you in the past? … I never had issues with him talking to her or any of his exes…in fact any women…I am not built on jealousy…I used to feel comfort knowing I can trust him but now I am struggling to trust him… not good in my world…I would normally walk away from this and what keeps me here is unknown FOR NOW…I see anger as the backbone of healing, forgiving yourself for letting it happen and forgiving the person who did it is the way to heal. Okay do not go stir shit on me…Let me say it this way…I do feel it is my fought for where I am today…I have my reason and I own it…A man only does to you what YOU allow him to do to you…I am giving my all in this relationship, more so to him THEN ANYONE ever in my past…
One thing I have done on that path is to give back the pain to the person, in a kind of ritual done alone…it does not fix things, that I do know.. but it is a start, a beginning for me to deal with my feelings…..
When someone intentionally betrays you it's a whole different story…this is my battle and yes I think about if it were intent and he was caught so now what…Not only is it a violation of trust but also of emotional safety. It can affect self-esteem, future relationships and a general sense of how you feel about the world at large…. My struggle…For instance I was a pretty open and trusting person before the betrayal, now I have an altered perception after….I often wonder if he truly loves me for me.. this is part of my journey…ask me how I know?…we learn something new in every relationship, I can take that with me as life lesson ..done…Knowing why he did it, with the truth behind it…only he knows…
Something I have to do after a betrayal is allowing myself to have my feelings, whatever they are. Also, know that it's going to take some time. …he put me in this frame of mind and I know I did NOTHING to deserve it…
What he doesn't understand is this. I do not trust people, period. I have been treated like garbage literally since I been in relationships of all kind…Yes I feel it and believe it….Verbally and physically abused as a young adult. Then you become a caregiver to the one you love, and folks think they can run all over you, and take your kindness for granted….
Sooooo, there are many "security gates" you have to get through in order for me to trust. If you make it through all the gates, then you are in for life, unless you fuck with my trust…which this is where I am today…
---And while the betrayal and its consequences may never be fixed, it doesn't mean that I can't regain my sense of self and live an empowered life….
Maybe leave or shut up is my options ...if those are my only choices. Either way I am in the beginning stages of a long process of forgiveness and self-discovery….It's easier to heal from a betrayal when the offender takes responsibility for their actions…He did come clean and did admit calling her …question is why?..will I ever know its truth…should I really know…is there more to know?….
Calling her gave me power of the situation…learning new truth from her and her story gave me a closer look on things…I thank her for giving me her time and I hope she will forgive me for any intrusion on my part…as for his part I don’t control it, just living it…anyhow I close with this… in the end I have no need to escape my reality …I close with Frank Crane: You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough….~Peace …Vic
February 4, 2009
Wednesday
This so called blog has been sadly neglected of late…sorry but life has it’s way with me….lol
Happy Belated New Year...I'm late...I know…Oh.. so Now… 2008 is officially over.. and here start the year of moo-moo.. 2009!
In the year 2008… I have learned a lot… from the worst to the best .. well.. what can I say.. the most important chapter in 2008 of mine.. I got to know a lot of nice people… people which now plays a very important role in my life…a shout out to Lori, Sheena, Niecie, Stacey, April and Amy …you gals have been the best to me…I love you all with ALL my heart…smiles ;)
I have a few things checked off my list already…I quit smoking…yeahhhh go me…Jan 27th was the day I allowed my body to heal… I already have more energy and walked 1.5 miles yesterday at lunch. I'm going to try and do the same today. I'm going to commit to exercise 3 days a week but hopefully do more…My schedule is hectic as it is…I must put myself first … I am still working on it..giggles… anything is possible if you really want it… ;)
I hope and pray that I never ever smoke again...but I'm just living for today. I know I will not smoke today…speaking of today a man walked passed me and omg the smell floored me…I never gave it a thought before but I wander what people have said about me smelling like a burnt cigarette… I can handle people smoking around me…just don’t like it when it is in my face…I need fresh air damn it…anywho, I guess I can say this year has been a good year in all…It went by sooooo fast … IMO
So in the year 2009.. I will only remember the sweet memories of 2008.…giggles
Moving on…heh heh heh…
I actually got this in an email, but it made me laugh so I have to pass it on.
“True Friendship” (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)
Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-just the stone cold truth of our friendship.
When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared– I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
When you are confused — I will use little words.
When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask,”Because you are my friend”. We don’t need a succession plan, because friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Be safe everyone …god bless
x0x0x0
December 10, 2008
Wednesday
At a young age, it is hard to understand how you can lose someone so close to your heart...My heart and soul is with my daughter... Her best friend Lauren was killed in a automobile accident a few days ago...RIP Lauren...We love you...I will cherish the memories we have shared not so long ago...
In my reality, there isn’t anything I can say that will magically make my daughter stop hurting, but I CAN help by listening. By giving her a chance to let out her thoughts and feelings, I hope I am helping her move through the grieving process. It is hard that I can not give my daughter the answers she needs...I only have my beliefs and they may not work for her as they have for me...
Noodle,
You will never forget what happened. If you are afraid to heal because you think you might forget Lauren, stop worrying about that... I know easier said than done... You will never forget... You will always have her memory... You'll always be sorry that you were unable to share life with her for many more years...What you are feeling is normal... However... in time, you will remember the happy memories more often than the painful one which fill your mind now...
But just for this moment, It might seem for you that you will never be able to be happy again, but you will, and you will have the ability to be even more happy than most people, because you will have learnt at a very early age, what loss is...You will be able to seize every bit of happiness coming your way, you will have more compassion and will be able to love and relate to others on a deeper level as I have in the loss of my beloved Scott...I know the sadness you feel is unbearable right now...Keep her in your heart my love...Lauren has touched your life in a way no one could ever understand but you...
Scott passed when I was 21, he was 23... It has been 15 years and I have since lost many others that I love... His death alone has taught me many things in life...It seemed so different because now I understand that this is just a part of life... I am not sure who said this to me...Some see this as a graduation to a different part of life...Very sad but true... Ask yourself...Do you think Lauren would want you to waste any of your time grieving for her?...I don't think so but you know the answer because YOU know her...
I cry at everything because I can not take your pain away and wish I could just find a way to protect you from this world, instead of seeing those around you upset you. I know because I am here when you answer your phone or read your text...The following needs to be said so I hope your "Friends" find their way here ...
"Friends"---When you listen, keep an open mind and a closed mouth. Don’t judge or offer opinions... just accept anything Noodle has to say... to me that is being a true friend to my daughter...
Being a compassionate friend when someone suffers a loss always requires a certain amount of courage... Everyone responds to loss differently so there is always some fear of the unknown...Courage is the ability to act in spite of fear or anxiety, not the lack of those emotions...It isn’t the words of comfort it’s the act of being there for her and grieving with her that will give the most comfort...
I hope these thoughts are of some help to you when dealing with my daughter's pain...
Noodle, I wish that you find the strength you need to go through this...Lauren is your guide, your angel and I believe she will be with you to walk you through this... I am here for you....I Love You My Noodle...Love, Mommie
October 25, 2008
Today we celebrated a birthday worth celebrating...Jamie, Noodle's bf turned 22yo a few days ago. Jamie picked Red Lobster to feast...It was so good...We had fun..lmao..
The day before Noodle,My son Ronnie, My mother & I went to TGI Friday's for dinner...We are very strange people when we go out..giggles
Since Sept 13th I been on MYYEARBOOK.COM ... It is a cool site...I am giving a large donation to Make a Wish Foundation for kids 12 & under who are dying..MAW Foundation gives one wish to these kids...It is a great cause...If you want to stop by and help support us in our drive... go to Myyearbook.com/cross33heart .. Add Me as ure friend...:0)...Anything you do on the page is giving to MAW Foundation..God Bless and miss you all
September 13, 2008
Added 35 more photo's (Myspace) ... Frederick Fair was fun fun fun...enjoy
Edit 2 Add ~ Summer Time Fun has 35 pics,...I have more to add so check back...huggies 2 all :0)
September 4, 2008
Thursday
Hello peep’s…I have a lot to say today…Are you ready…lol…
I welcome you to the happiest day of my life...Sept 2, 2008! How time flies! (doing my happy dance now)..shhh don’t tell anyone ;0)…lmao…I must get it out of my system…life is soooooooo sweet…I am so excited….Did you ask why?…I will tell ya why…Surprise ..Surprise…My sexy is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of her…..fuckin A we won!……lmao…I have to say the truth will set you free…..If you want to win YOU MUST think like them…I been in the picture long enough to learn…
Yes I admit, I USED to want to know. For the sake of knowledge, and for the sake of improving me and my man's relationship. But ya know... the time has arrived that she is no longer a stress of weight on my sexy‘s shoulder‘s... At one time, in the beginning she was in his head…I got my sexy through it and he stayed strong…I REALLY DON'T care what she "wants"! It was a matter of fairness…she already took 95% of the property.. GREEDY got the best of her…her action’s proved that…personally, I don't dwell on what you WANT or even NEED! I have KIDS for all that!…AND THAT'S IF I'M EVEN BEING GENEROUS ENOUGH TO OFFER IT OR BE RECEPTIVE TO THE IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE! My sexy was fair to her because HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD!…He only wanted one thing, a divorce but she had to drag lawyer‘s in it and make things ugly so it was up to me to make things right…In the end, I discovered things sexy did not know about…pulling the wool over someone‘s eye‘s and trying to get more than what you really deserve was a low thing to do to a human being, let alone your husband…I am positive she know’s that deep down…
Anyhow…
eventually you realize that when you hold the anger in, it doesn't hurt anyone but yourself… I see it as a learning situation…. Looking back, I also was naïve…. I am less naive and more skeptical…. I also realized that other people had it worse than I did…. When I put it into perspective I was able to feel better and move on…. I hope someday she can find peace within herself …enough said, time to move on
I want to thank you ALL for ure comments & emails wishing me a Happy Birthday…;0)…37 wow! It was another birthday I will never forget… My girl, Chell, I am grateful to you & appreciate ure kindness..Ron and I had a wonderful time in your state …I want to go back to our special place now…lol..counting the minutes…you are the best! I love you the mostest girlfriend…as for your beautiful daughter’s…I am happy that both are excited to join us on our shopping spree..We will have a blast because girls just want to have fun…well I got Ron thinking now so he might be going too…heh heh heh..oh and Noodle will be joining us after all ;0)…
You saw my pic when I returned back from vacation...yep it was the day after we returned...time to replace it with my current photo…yea--hhhh …I remember when the mall had a photo shop upstairs and Ron & I got our photo done…18 yrs later I show him the photo we took back when we were kids…I saved everything from sweet notes, letter’s, photo’s even his wrist band the hospital gave him when he broke his hand/wrist.
I cherished those memories for many years…life can not get any better than this!
For those of you who have not been following my journal over the past few years or so, I have just returned from probably the most adventurous vacation that I will ever get to experience!.. Okay, I know we will have many more but seriously, if you only knew.. I'm not really sure how I can best present everything to you because there is just so much to tell … I have decided that A LOT of things need to remain a memory for sexy and I only…believe me, you could not handle it…lmao…
My sexy made it the most romantic place ever and so special…I been there hundreds of times but this time I actually had my partner with me, my true love. For the record, I have never had a man go with me ..I always took the girls, friends or just went by myself…and trust me NOTHING COMPARES…oh wait I need to tell you where…lol…Ocean City, Md… This vacation was so special for many reasons, first off, those who know me well in real life know’s how I get on a whim…I got a hair up my butt one day and just blurted out to Mama & Papa <---his parents… that I want to go ANYWHERE and have fun and they MUST join us…Next thing I knew I had the room paid for in full…which was a good price to me considering it was a ocean front, private padio, 2 outdoor pools, 1 heated indoor pool, game room, full kitchen, living room, hot tub and loaded with lots of extra’s…My favorite was all the fruits you can eat for FREE…now for the tally.. $1002.25 for 3 nights…okay I already heard that I was crazy but hey, you only live once..right…
anyhow, I wanted Mama & Papa to join us for a few reason, one I love them as much as I love my sexy and two, when we were kids growing up, Mama & Papa put up with me as a child…omg they were brave..lol…I truly felt they were my second set of parents…Hell I was there all the time, up until we got our own place and than it was at least a few times a week..giggles
Allow me to indulge myself a bit…I would climb into Ron’s bedroom window while his parent slept through out the night…can you guess what we were doing?..lol…now before you have an opinion, we were engaged to be married…(to be exact, 1 yr and a few months engaged)..Today it is no longer a secret but a family joke…another happy memory, driving always reminded me of his parents because that is who taught me…There were many places we went as kids, I was always invited to join them…I felt Ron & I can give them something in return for giving us many memories to cherish…
Damn I went on and on…lmao....back to our vacation…
There was not a moment we did not laugh…One of many that comes to mind is the funnel cake…we shared one and Ron was so funny we actually had a audience surrounding us…I almost peed my pants…Mama said, it was the best time her and Papa had in years..it was so worth it!…oh I was chasing down this blonde just so I could get a picture of her..she was hotter than hot…My sexy and I have this game we play..we hold hands everywhere we go, even at home ;0)…he or I will squeeze our hand just to give an alert “T & A alert“…what is funny we have the same taste in women…He is so damn sexy…I love him more each day…is that possible?..He makes me happy beyond compare, and I can't thank him enough for making me feel the way I do. I’ve never felt love as strong as this for anyone else..It has been 16 months with Ron, and they have been the most amazing time ever…. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love him…. He is just the perfect boyfriend and means the world to me…..
We have proved that second time round in a relationship does work and we have become stronger than ever and closer than ever before….I love him so much, I would do anything for him and he know’s that…Love you sexy sexy…wink wink…xoxoxox
Well the ocean was a wonderful experience..instead of me listening to the waves and soaking up the sun alone I had my baby with me..I got to tell ya, Papa was playing in the ocean water with us and he thought he could handle the wave coming in…guess what… down he went 2 times…lmao…Mama she was just standing in one place as the waves came and her feet sunk in the sand..well a good wave came and she was so far down in the sand she about fell but I caught her on time…lol…Our nights by the ocean was amazing…I have pic’s which you should find in the STF folder ..check them out
…Anyhow there was so much to do and 4 days was not enough…Sexy and I have something to celebrate and I have another hair up my butt…lol ;)…We only had a few bad places we ate…but Phillip’s was worth it all…lol…I may have said to much already so I best keep the rest to myself…and believe me those are just the things I'm brave enough to write about….heh heh heh… We have many happy moments to come…and this one was a moment that will last forever ;0)..We had a wonderful time!
I will keep going on and on so it is time to wrap things up…Oh I almost forgot..Jamie & Noodle got their PS3!….Just seeing you both happy makes me happy….have fun with your new toy ;)…Love ya and smooches
P.s…now go see the new Summer Time Fun Album…comment if you dare..
Thanks again guys & I wish you all good things in life…god bless
Aug 21, 2008
Don't have much time...Just wanted to stop in and let all know we are back from vacation...We had a good time and the pictures we took will show you "how much fun we had"...giggles...will add more photo's to new photo album "Summer Time Fun" ...come back and see my update...hugs to all and much love...peace ;0)
July 25, 2008
Friday
I thought about some issues a friend of mine is having at this time. Big hugs go out to you! There is no need for going into full details. This is not the place nor is it an open discussion for the world.
I will say this to you my friend, I am with you 100% no matter what you decide to do. You know how I feel and my opinion will not change. I respect you for who you are without changing you. I love you and remember what I said….
Your true essence and who you really are, is in being unconditional loving and you cannot love another without first knowing love within yourself.
That is all I will say right now…((((my true friend)))
Moving on….with my golden rules ….:0)
No. 1 ~ Believe in whatever we have done is enough and do not compare with others. They might have very good reasons to have what you do not have YET! You also will come to their level or even better, who really knows?
No. 2 ~ Eliminate negative thoughts that cross our minds like feeling low. We must built up our spirit.
No. 3 ~ Just be yourself. Reflect what is in your heart sincerely. It will show in your face…I promise!
If I see true value in something and I enjoy it then I will pay for it. Not to keep up some superficial image, but simply because I will enjoy it. After all, being able to enjoy your life the way you want is a luxury in itself, isn't it?
So far this summer has been a wonderful experience for both of us. I can't wait to hit our next vacation spot with my Sexy and enjoy everything this great place has to offer. This will be exciting to him and those I invited to join us. We will live it up...I will have tons of pictures and video to share so stay tune…lol
On that note…
Enjoying life is to appreciate our friends and be able to share ideas even without seeing them in person
This goes out to my Noodle….I said I will get you and Jamie the PS3. It will be a early Christmas present. Your turning 18 so to me this is something you deserve before leaving the nest. Okay I know you want to stay with me forever and I promise you will change your mind. Jamie is a good man and I believe in my heart both of you will turn this world upside down. Mark my words…. Just remember Noodle, Mommy knows everything …giggles…love you more..heh heh heh
Love you all….:0)
July 25 2008
I thought about some issues a friend of mine is having at this time. Big hugs go out to you! There is no need for going into full details. This is not the place nor is it an open discussion for the world.
I will say this to you my friend, I am with you 100% no matter what you decide to do. You know how I feel and my opinion will not change. I respect you for who you are without changing you. I love you and remember what I said….
Your true essence and who you really are, is in being unconditional loving and you cannot love another without first knowing love within yourself.
That is all I will say right now…((((my true friend)))
Moving on….with my golden rules ….:0)
No. 1 ~ Believe in whatever we have done is enough and do not compare with others. They might have very good reasons to have what you do not have YET! You also will come to their level or even better, who really knows?
No. 2 ~ Eliminate negative thoughts that cross our minds like feeling low. We must built up our spirit.
No. 3 ~ Just be yourself. Reflect what is in your heart sincerely. It will show in your face…I promise!
If I see true value in something and I enjoy it then I will pay for it. Not to keep up some superficial image, but simply because I will enjoy it. After all, being able to enjoy your life the way you want is a luxury in itself, isn't it?
So far this summer has been a wonderful experience for both of us. I can't wait to hit our next vacation spot with my Sexy and enjoy everything this great place has to offer. This will be exciting to him and those I invited to join us. We will live it up...I will have tons of pictures and video to share so stay tune…lol
On that note…
Enjoying life is to appreciate our friends and be able to share ideas even without seeing them in person
This goes out to my Noodle….I said I will get you and Jamie the PS3. It will be a early Christmas present. Your turning 18 so to me this is something you deserve before leaving the nest. Okay I know you want to stay with me forever and I promise you will change your mind. Jamie is a good man and I believe in my heart both of you will turn this world upside down. Mark my words…. Just remember Noodle, Mommy knows everything …giggles…love you more..heh heh heh
Love you all….
June 28, 2008
Saturday
Damn where should I begin, I have had a lot weighing on my mind these past few months. My daughter‘s, my life, my future.
I will say some of the weight is the conversation my sexy brought to my attention the other night. It may be a joke or fun kiddin idk for sure but I don’t need anymore kids and at this point it is about enjoying our grandbabies. The question, if there is a chance that I would get pregnant what would we do. (FTR, I got my tubes tied and burned 17 yrs ago)…I understand where my love is coming from but I just can not see me raising another baby at my age (36 yrs young)…I got fixed long ago for a reason..As I told him, I will leave that in gods hands if god leads me down that path. Till than leave it alone…see sexy I said it with a smile..lmao
Now for marriage that is another sore subject with me….I love you sexy sexy with all my heart, that will never change. I'm not scared of commitment, just marriage! Don't get me wrong I'm not against marriage, it’s just not for me …I could have said no every time. Life would have been much easier had I said no to the last four men... I've seen many successful marriages, my parents, his parents, grandparents and many more … but for myself I just want lifelong companionship, love and fidelity whether or not it comes in a *marriage* wrapper. And I don't think getting married guarantees any of those things, so what really is the point?
I know what your thinking, four marriages. I'm not anti-marriage, but I don't need the piece of paper and/or society's blessing to be happy…I will say it again, marriage is not for me…I love you sexy sexy…I just don’t want things to change as they did with the last 4. I like the way things are, as is! As long as you can promise me fidelity, companionship and love, I'm good to go….
Maybe my philosophy will change years down the road, but that's how I feel now.
I do find myself wondering if the modern film and television bombardment of love and lust has duped me, like so many others, into believing that true love is something that is right for everyone, and which everyone attains…. More and more I find myself wondering if perhaps it isn’t my lot in life to simply enjoy the world around me, and to try to make it better for the future generations that will be sired by my peers
Hmmmm….…
I will love him unconditionally for the rest of my life. I think we’ve found each other. It sure seems to both of us, after such a long and winding path apart, that we have finally found each other. I am definitely grateful for the experiences that I have had to this point as preparation. He could very well be the love of my life. He’s definitely a special man. I see qualities I’ve always wanted in a partner in him. We communicate well, have a great time together, think alike in many important ways…it probably sounds really dumb to be talking so rationally about something that is so often a purely emotional issue. But I’m truly considering whether this individual is one with whom I can have a lasting relationship, strengthening each of us and allowing us both to continue to grow and blossom. I want us both to know joy, freedom and stability in our relationship. While we continue our relationship, I’m continuing to place more emphasis on my relationship with God. Through this prayer, I’ve already found more and more patience and understanding when it comes to what path to take. When the time is right to choose our next step (whatever it may be), I believe that him & I will both know what is right for us.
All I know is that I only think of him, he means the world to me and I know that we are soul-mates and that eventually I will believe he is the love of my life. Everything I want and more than I thought I deserved. Maybe it is my self-esteem talking. Or maybe it is my past experiences. I been disappointed with four marriages. I just rather run from the thought of marriage. I know his smile warms my heart and brings me joy. That is what is important to me. Being happy together.
Our romantic evenings spent in together cuddled up on the sofa, wonderful dinners out and at the table, our talks before we close our eyes it just the comfort in the knowledge you are safe and cared for. :) It is a good feeling!
That’s all I have for now, I am leaving out a ton, but I will fill you all in when I can...trust me life has been hectic here...all the docs and then the dogs, you get the idea...life is busy...take care and much love :0)
April-18-2008
“What is the quality of your intent?"
Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering.
What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens.
What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create.
We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.
My intent will be evident in the results.
Checkout new Album on Myspace ...4 pics
April 6, 2008
I went out last night got a bit tipsey...had a night I wont ever forget...see photo's in new album 4-5-08 Night Out
April 4 2008
I have had alot on my mind as you can tell. I thought of adding the thoughts below to my journal tonight but I feel it is a 911 blog and for the most part, my entry tonight is longer than expected ...Some of you know me well and most just know me by the contents in my journal. This week has been a fucked up week. Thank god for my sexy sexy...he keeps me smiling :0)
Why is so many people jealous of me?...Past fuckin friend that I refuse to mention, a few in my family which I wont go there either. For god sake jealousy gets you NO where! I live my life to the fullest everyday, always have and I do put my priorities where they should be. Maybe this is the reason why I own as much as I do, who fuckin knows. I have what I have because I worked for it. I learned that as a teen raising a child. It is called responsibilities baby. TRY IT!
I am a bitch because I wont do something you want me to do... FTR, My priorities are with my family and that my dear is where they always will be.
Get a fuckin grip and grow the fuck up! Maybe you will learn something else about me...I am smarter than you think and I recently found that standing up for yourself gives you strength to move the world...believe me I don’t need people like you in my life and thank god your true colors came out NOW before I spent another dime on your fuckin mooch ass.
Listen up and take notes; it never hurts
Time and time again I hear people down call a woman who will stand up for herself. Time and time again I hear the word bitch used like it is a bad thing.
I am a bitch, and here’s the good news, I’m OK with it.
I personally think that some women make too much effort not to allow their inner bitch to shine and those women are usually the one’s you will hear complaining that they are tired or depressed or somewhat desensitized to the world around them because they have made a habit of putting their own wants and needs on a back burner while they practice being the perfect wife/girlfriend, the perfect mother, the perfect daughter, friend and all to often they have lost a very important word from their vocabulary; the word that seems to become lost is "NO!"
I have, in the last little while, had people say to me, "but you’re so confident," or "I wish I was as self assured or self aware as you are!" and for split second I run this whole infomercial through my head, you know the one’s that say something like, "For the low, low price of $19.99 you can be as confident as I am!"
You don’t need no stinkin’ $19.99 ladies, you just need to get in touch with your inner bitch.
I don’t care who you are, if you were born with a vagina, or perhaps had one medically provided for you, you have an inner bitch and she’s just waiting for you to open the door and let her out.
Prissy Pollyanna that has been in control of your life up to this point is going to create and air of panic, she doesn’t want the inner bitch to come out because she’s afraid it will mess up her picture perfect world, but trust me on this, you don’t want prissy Pollyanna running the show forever.
If by some stretch of the imagination you are perfectly fine living your Stepford life, stop reading now, because once you let that inner bitch out and she grabs hold of life, she will not just jump back into the box.
The first step to allowing the inner bitch to shine is to learn the word NO… no I can’t do this for you. No I will not babysit. No I don’t want to go there again. No I don’t have time. No I can’t make the world change the spin of it’s axis to suit you… NO…NO….NO…NO…NO!
Embrace the word, learn the word, love the word and finally live the word.
Oh you will get looks, you will get resistance, you WILL be called a bitch and that is exactly what you want because it means that you are well on your way…
Of course after you embrace the word no and say it often enough and MEAN IT when you say it because it’s moot if you don’t, you will soon enough begin to feel the liberation that comes with saying it. This is when you have to learn to temper no with yes to achieve a healthy balance.
Once you embrace your inner bitch, you cease to exist for others and begin to exist for yourself. You begin to get in touch with the person you were once upon ago, and you suddenly stop wondering what happened to your life.
People treat you differently, they approach you with respect, and they begin to see you as a human being with feelings and opinions and preferences. Your children (especially if they are teens) will push your buttons less and talk to you more. I have 2 beautiful daughter’s that know this well! But remember, this takes work; they have to know that they can’t push you around and at the same time understand that you respect their opinions.
People will stop EXPECTING and start ASKING, they will stop assuming that you will say yes and might even begin to feel bad for taking advantage of your good nature.
Embracing the inner bitch is a fine balancing act, you don’t want to be mean and nasty all of the time, but you damned sure want to convey that you are through being walked on.
Damn that felt good! :0)
April 3 2008
Okay we are going to have a little conversation, I talk, well because I am the one who owns the journal and you listen because you are the ones reading my journal and at anytime if there is anything here that offends you or that you don’t want to hear, read, see or know about there is a little red X at the top right corner of the window that will solve your problem. Got it? Good. (intended for one uneducated young ass!)
I can not believe the sheer ignorance of some people. I can not believe that rather than heed a warning, no matter how remote a possibility, that the warning would be scoffed at and that the free thinking ( oh wait I could be wrong there) masses would attempt to quash or otherwise invalidate because it doesn’t match their perfect Pollyanna perfect free world images of themselves.
Since I am all for calling spades, spades, here it is in black and white;
YOU HAVE NO CHILDREN…. I HAVE ADULT CHILDREN….WHAT IN HELL’S HALF ACRE MAKES YOU SO BOLD AS TO THINK YOU KNOW MORE THAN I? WTF!
I have been through infancy, toddlerhood, puberty, growth spurts, growing pains, first loves, loves lost, good times, bad times and all the times in between.
See, back then I was like you. I was ignorant and uneducated
Now that is the way it is and movin on
I was going to vent about this tomorrow considering the time but it is best to get this out of my system before I close my eyes tonight.
A compliment given to me this morning on The Poll Vault got me to thinking…
( ut-oh…hold onto your hats)
In my upbringing I was taught to always be a lady first. Always reminded of what a lady is and what a lady should and shouldn’t do and I think that in today’s society a lot of what is now considered old school thinking has gone amiss.
In my upbringing I learned that a lady always conducts herself with grace; she always is mindful that eyes are upon her; she is always polite and always takes consideration to the feelings of others into account.
In my upbringing ladies were quietly understated, well poised and well polished and knew how to use a knife and fork properly. In my upbringing ladies were good conversationalists with well developed minds on a great many subjects and could keep company with princes and paupers alike.
In my upbringing ladies were fine with being in the spotlight and equally fine with sharing it or having shine on anyone else. In my upbringing a lady knew her worth outside of having a man in her life, but at the same time well versed on how to have one not only in her life, but keeping him in her life. (FYI- I do have friendship's with my ex's! It taught my girls although he disrespected me where we could not be together, I can still continue to show you on how to be an adult and move on with some dignity)
In my upbringing a professional woman was just that a professional woman and she also knew when to put her career first and knew when to let it sit on a back burner and put her family first.
She knew balance and she knew equality and she didn’t feel the need to exert some ominous power to prove that she was just as good as a man. She was content to be a woman and took joy in the subtlety of being so.
Now before anyone goes all feminist hater on my ass there is more;
In my upbringing I was taught that no woman needs a man to place value on her self worth. I was taught that a good woman is a self sufficient woman who thinks for herself and isn’t afraid to speak up to prove her point.
I was taught to take pride in my sex and I was taught that feminine sexuality is something to be revered not quashed. I was taught the art of the flirt and I was also taught the art of knowing how to appropriately convey that art; Time and place… time and place…time and place.
If you take a look at the female celebrities in the news today, it’s painfully apparent that someone has dropped the ball in teaching the women of today the fine art of womanhood. Most of the young celebrities are attention getters, but not for the things that they should be getting attention for. Over the top drug and alcohol use, public flashes of naked private flesh, anything and everything they can do to make sure they stay in the public eye and I for one think it’s a damned shame.
Do it in a strip club where you must be 18 to enter, thank you very much!
In the past I have had people reach out to me in my silences, afraid that something was wrong or that I was somehow hurting in some unknown or ungodly way. In truth, a lot of my silences are just that, silences, silent moments that I take, and in which I find my way back to my core beliefs that inside of me there is a lady first, one who knows her place, and her worth and what is important to her.
My mother used to call it “finding your grace.”
In the eyes of my children that it most important
It is where I am appreciated for being a Lady First.
4-1-2008
I have added a new album on Myspace, "April fools day 08"..My son got me this morning. He saran wrapped my car...lmao...Joke is on him because last night during our shopping spree he picked up 2 boxes of saran wrap. He got the expensive wrap at that so the allowance I give him this week will be 6 bucks short..You had to see his face...lol...now I can say April fools to you my baby boy...lol...I would never take from you but I can have fun trying..giggles...See my boy does love me...hah hah hah
3-31-2008
It has been since January since I last wrote. Maybe I will pick it up again once things calm down... I added a new album to Myspace. (St. Patty's Day/Easter 08)…check it out and comment if you dare.
I really feel the need to vent today. I have had a lot on my mind. I know people only do to me what I allow them to do to me. Only I can allow someone to break my spirit, and trust me that would never happen because I wont allow it! Those around me has and always will learn from me. I can’t tell you how many times I heard this from others, including my online friends and readers. I must be doing something right in my life for others to follow in my footsteps and take my advice seriously.
In my reality, life has taken a very pleasant turn.
I did something I thought I would never do in my lifetime. I vowed I would never do again! I definitely feel good about my decision.. Being conniving and straight up fucking greedy gives me the right to play even!. I be damn if I am going to sit back and watch my friends-family being hurt or taken advantage of. If I am able to help, I will and I did just that.
It just burns my ass to see how low people go just to have the last word….do your threats …have your tantrums …do you baby cause I got a news flash for ya…we will get through this and I have already replaced everything and I MEAN EVERYTHING…so there :0)!
Moving on…..
I was at a luncheon with my friend , and we started talking about relationships and adultery because of recent accusations came forth. <<< STUPID BITCHES THINK THEY KNOW ALL WHEN IN FACT THEY DON’T KNOW SHIT!
Anyhowzer…
While we were discussing relationships, the question of being ‘true’ and ‘in truth’ to oneself came up. That’s when I commented about something that happened to a friend of mine. About 3 years ago a friend of mine was quite upset because his sister called his mother to say she was getting a divorce and moving in with her boss, who was also getting a divorce. On the face of it, it seemed to throw every value he was raised with in his parent’s face, yet a year ago we revisited this topic and he admitted that for years before his sister left her marriage, the ’signs’ were there - no one wanted to see them though. It turns out that both parties were living in a dead marriage with no hope for revitalization. They existed together but had grown apart in almost every conceivable way. By the time his sister decided she couldn’t live a lie any longer, her husband was relieved, as living as room mates and buddies was not his idea of marriage. Adultery, as the term is used, does not happen in a void. If two people are truly in love, committed to each other and honest about their relationship, adultery will not have room to exist. This is because if the marriage is going to end, it will end and not “live on” propped up by artificial “life” saving techniques where one partner has created a belief, often a very committed belief extending to friends and family, that everything is fine while the other partner is wresting with dealing with a disconnect in truth.
Are these situations preventable? Maybe… Most of change over time, some of us grow spiritually, some of us reject spirituality, some of us need to be right about everything and some of us are willing to try to understand another person’s point of view, some of us are somewhere in the middle, and on and on. When two people end up at diametrically polar opposite positions, and would NEVER get together if they were single but they are still bound due to marriage, it is their personal responsibility to be in truth with what is going on. This truth needs to be not just with themselves but with the other person. If one person is willing to live a lie then the relationship will, inevitably suffer in some manner. A relationship needs to be based in honesty and truth for it to survive and be fulfilling and not empty.
.
With that said, I just don’t understand why she thinks the situation was preferable to what the future offers, which is being on your own all wrapped up with at least the potential to find somebody that is a better match. Why fuck around to cause more pain?…WTF...you have to know you can not have your cake and eat it too…guess two strikes and your out…lucky for me…..Anyhowers my point is…being on your own gives you the strength and backbone to take care of yourself in all aspects . If you cannot take care of yourself than how can you expect to care for anyone else.
we are moving on, and so far, continuing to deal amicably and with respect at least on our end.
I felt myself seizing up tears the other day, all from thinking about what is happening at the moment. The good news, I am very supportive - so you need to get a life! Seriously pull up your skirt! Go see a counselor and tell the whole truth! I can bet your ass the advise you receive will actually help you figure out who you really are. Just so you know, your actions are speaking louder than your words. For the record, I could care less as long as he's happy and guess what HE IS HAPPY no matter what you say or do! I will always stand by him because that’s what true friends do for each other.
Stepping things up…All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.
From my experience, Blaming others is a sign of low self-esteem because in doing so we are not taking responsibility. If you do not take responsibility you will always be a victim of your circumstances. Take it from me! I may be old (as u put it) but damn I sure know what I am talking about. I am a wise women.
Speaking of…
I use to blame everybody and everything in the past until I realized that in doing so my circumstances were not changing and my self esteem did not improved. When I became aware of this behavior I took the decision not to blame anymore. Whenever I find myself blaming people or circumstances I stop and I say to myself: Is time to take responsibility and I take action. This new behavior has helped me to build my self esteem because I do not feel the victim anymore. Remember I became a women at 14 years old. I was a child raising a child so my world different yours!
Here are some tips to stop blaming others and circumstances:
· If you made a mistake, admit it.
· If there is something in your life you are not happy about, do something to change it.
· When you find yourself blaming stop and say to yourself: is time to take responsibility.
· Be open to other’s people opinion and if you did something wrong apologize. Remember that you are not always right.
Self-Responsibility:
· I am responsible for the achievement of my desires
· I am responsible for my choices and actions
· I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work
· I am responsible for my behavior with other people – coworkers, associates, customers, spouse, children, friends
· I am responsible for how I prioritize my time
· I am responsible for the quality of my communications
· I am responsible for my personal happiness
· I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live
· I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
I am just at the point where I would love to go somewhere warm for a while and roast on a beach, but I don’t want to take the following step as of yet. I rather wait this out and I do believe time will catch up with us.…:0)
Damn I just thought of a great idea. I will take my sexy to a place he has never been. His birthday is around the corner so it will be perfect timing… time to get er done :0)
Good things come to those who wait and god knows I waited a long time!
At this very moment, I am paying attention to Sir Allen (I like to think of authors as the royalty of America-- excuse me, good authors, that is.)
If you are feeling out of control, unable to manage your obligations with calm, cool, and collectedness, get one of his books. I think he is on to something.
I feel much better just venting and moving on with things ...thanks for listening :0
Have a splendid week. Do yourself a favor and do something different. The best way to break a routine is to see it from a new vantage point, like someplace you've never been to before, even if that is only the next street over on your weekly dog walk . Doing things differently doesn't always involved doing things hugely differently. Just differently. :o)
---------------------------Take care
2-13-2008
1:30 am
Hello everyone, Must do this early...Happy Valentine's Day!
Do not take the contents in my journal
to heart for which it is my words, my fanasty and most of all my therapy!
1-18-2008
I hope everyone is having a good year so far..this year is going by fast for me...I can not believe we are going into our third week already.
wtf...slow down...I really don't want this year to fly by me like the last 6 months...I am having to much fun...
Anywhoooo...I been cooking up a storm these past few months...My sexy finally gave me the chance to show him what I can do in a kitchen...
I showed them with taste..lol...My son loves my spaghetti and homemade meatball subs, has yet to tell me he don't like something ... My sexy loves everything I cooked up so far, especially my chicken pot pie (made from scratch I must tell you)..and my Pot Roast, Fried Chicken and BQ Meatball subs...I guess I will add a list below what I have cooked in these past few months, just in case some of you would like my recipe...
over the years and I mean many years of changing this and
that just to get the taste I like, I play with it and add my notes to that dish of what NOT to do just
so my girls can have a little piece of me when I am gone.
Here ya go, I bet ya I can change your recipe..:0)...match my taste to your taste and see what ya like best!
note: all my dishes are made with lots of love & from scratch, no short cuts...WARNING; if your watching your weight, my dishes won't work for you!
Fried Chicken, Bq Meatballs, Chilli, Creamy Scallop Potatoes, Steak w/ onion & green pepper
Chicken Pot Pie, Spaghetti, Cheesy Chicken, Apricot Curry Pork Chops (in crock pot)..don't like oven!
Bq Ribs, Meatloaf, Cherry Cobler, Banana Bread, Soft Baked Potatoes ( melts n ure mouth), Beef Cassarole
Beef Stroganoff, Beef Stew, Macaroni & Cheese with 4 different cheeses, Honey Ham, Chicken Noodle Soup
Bean Soup, Chicken Stroganoff, Bq Pork Strips, Pigs in a blanket & Baked Beans and Lasagna
I did not notice I made so many dishes, to many to list so just ask and you shall recieve...:0)
My Noodle has been a very picky eater...As a wee little girl I would tell her everything was chicken
just so she would eat...it stopped working as she got older... meats have always been a challenge with her
but I got her eating meats...lol
On that note...you will see very little of me ...I will ttyl...
btw; I am caught up on all mail.....I plan to be absent for awhile so if I miss your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Peace to all :o)
1-11-2008
Something new to try this year...(New Year Resolution)
Maybe you have noticed by now that my friend's number went down ....I now have a clean slate and know all of you on my friend's . Now I just got to keep it that way and believe me I will do just that!
I been saying I am going to clean things up here, well that time has come...so I decided to delete those I do not talk to ... I have deleted all the friends on my list that I don’t know just now, this is second time I done this, I keep adding to my friends just to find out I am just another "friend" to them to boost their friend count...this is kiddy play to me....
I was thinking that there is no point when you just keep adding, adding and adding new friends who will never contact you after adding them... we actually never communicate. What's the point?
From here on out, these are my rule's...
If I don’t know you personally than DO NOT request me, it's that easy...:0)
I will however ADD YOU IF you are a friend to any of my friend's (u must be on their list and NOT a new account)...just let me know who you know and I will then add you...
This should help me narrow down the people who like playing games...
IF YOU ARE A LURKER, which I don't mind you peeking in on my page, but if I deleted you I AM SO SORRY..I did not know you and you never contacted me by email or made any comments to tell me otherwise!...feel free to lurk, you still have some access to my page. :0)
I finally put a dent in to it...go me ...giggles
1-2-2008
Wednesday
Myspace Album's
*******Happy New Year Everyone...I added two new photo album's, .. Christmas & New Years 2008! ..Check them out!... Also I will be adding our family Christmas pics, I have alot of work to do on my video camera so check back for updates. (this may take a while)
If your interested go below and read my last entry for 2007...I wrap up the whole year by each month...so take a peek and maybe you will learn something from my experiences.********
It’s the time of the year where 2007 would become something of the past and 2008 would be filled with anticipation. It’s also the time of the year where people make new year resolutions.
What has 2007 been like for you? What has 2007 brought about in you? These are questions I’m sure most of us would ask ourselves either today or the eve of the new year. And I’m sure that there’d be many who will be making new year resolutions too.
My daughter's father Scott died on New Years Of 1993.
It has been 14 yrs since I celebrated New Years... All in all I am happy to say, this was the first year since his death that I was actually happy. I was awake and alive!
The new year has begun, 2008. I was not up to see the old one go out, but I am sure many people were. My last 6 months of 2007 was almost like a dream to me...I would tell my sexy to pinch me...lol...he would...giggles
As The New Year's Eve rolls in, we started off our night with just the 2 of us...Later in the evening we got involved with the midget tossing at Vixens. It was funny as hell...you must see the photo's in the New Year Album:0)
My baby really knew how to ring in the new year right.
We had a great night...He is so romantic...We had Champagne at midnight...We stayed sober for the most part, can you believe it, us sober? It was a night to remember.
I wish the night would have never ended...a friend told me her mom always said that the way you enter the new year sets a tone for the rest of your year. We had a perfect night. We laughed, we cried in joy and we shared our special moments with our friends and a few family members.
Speaking of friends...I could not believe who I ran into at Vixens....As we were heading out of the club, my sexy wanted to introduce me to his friend Cory. I look up and guess who is best friends with my sexy's friend Cory...My past friend Stacy...OMG..I thought I would die..We were jumping up and down that we found each other...it was crazy how we seperated so many years ago...I moved from the country and some how we lost contact...When we went out clubbin the roof was on fire...this is no lie...My sexy even said, When Stacy, Cory and my sexy would go out, shit was rockin...It brings back those memories of us. we be laying in the sun using a oil spray that was meant for hair...We tanned good with that shit...Her sister Mel would come out and lay with us....Stacy's daughter is now 14yrs old..I remember her when she was only 1 yrs old. I have yet to call her but believe me, you will see the up coming pics of her and I...God I missed her...:0)
I got a bit side tracked...I do that alot...lol
I try to improve myself all year so there’s no need for resolutions really.
If you are into new years resolutions, I have one that I think people could benefit from. Would you like to keep in better touch with people you haven't seen in a while? Or family members who live out of state? Or would you like to keep in touch with business colleagues or potential clients? If you would like to be better in any of these areas, then I think this is the year that you should become more tech and networking savvy.
This goes out to my sexy,
You have made me the happiest woman in the world. My only wish, my desire, is that you give me the opportunity to do the same for you. Honey, you are my life, my love and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
I Love You!
12-31-2007
Wrapping up 2007, My Thought's;
Monday
Here we are again wrapping up another year full of memories…This will be my last entry for 2007 ...woo hoo to bringing in the New Year with my boo…a bang it shall be…I am ready for 2008 are you?
Damn where do I start…There has been so many things that happen this year. I am happy to say, my 2007 will always be a year to remember, thanks to my boo.
Let’s start off with the winners of my contest….Congrats to *Jan and *Kristi..
I will have your gift ready as soon as possible. I will send it to your Myspace.
I know it has taken me a bit to get to this but in my reality I had so many events keeping me from the computer and believe me with 3 birthdays to celebrate in December and than Christmas it was a treat for me to plan…I blame it all on the holidays and NOT our kids for being born in December, so there you have it…giggles
Okay now for the break down of 2007...:0)
January~~~
Actually a few days before Christmas 2005, I found my sexy here on Myspace. To add, on the 6th, my Amber and I went to the nudie club for her first time. Boy was that a night to remember. I remember my Noodle being so upset that she could not join us, because of course she was turning 16 and still had a few years before she was legal. Keeping in mind, I have yet to finish Julian’s album…Amber send me photos damn it…wink wink
I was turned on to the movie RockStar…I watched it over and over. I love this movie.
Last day of this month I partied a few places…The night ended at Vixens and damn that night alone was a blast. I am still remembering Spice who gave me a lap dance to remember… fuckin hot…Go Spice!
Feburary~~~
My youngest daughter turned sweet 16.…heh heh heh … 2 more years and it will be a true girls night out. We will rock the fuckin house….sweeeeeeeet
Again on the 6th , I got my wolf tattoo…from my childhood I remember Ed’s wolf, Reggie, My mother cleaned his home for as long as I can remember. I would go out to his cage and comfort him in my mind…I would kneel down to his cage and Reggie would come over to me and tilt his head and rub up against the cage for me to love him…There were only a few of us who he would allow to touch him…He was so beautiful. One of god’s creatures who brought many fond memories of my childhood. Ed also had a monkey named, Chip …lmao…He would take my bubbles out of my pocket and poke many holes in it and return it back into my pocket..That monkey tried to get me in the car one time and try to have his way with me…Horney monkey he was…lol…I miss them both…rip my friends in heaven.
One of many surgeries that will come ahead…enough said because I hate reliving pain…moo
24th of this month, I got my big bad wolf and little red ridin hood Tattoo…six hours I sat in the chair…
damn the stories I could tell about this one. It has a lot to do with my man, when we were teens…I will forever hold this memory close to my heart…wink
March~~~
I lost a lot of weight that was gained due to medical reasons…I believe a lot had to do with my doctor putting me on a medicine that I knew nothing about till it was to late…I don’t worry about my weight anymore…well I do but I don’t…I just have to learn to stop snacking with my boo at 4am…I am working on the new changes for 2008...go me
April~~~
This is the month that gave me a stress free life. I let my 4 story home go due to being, my oldest daughter Amber moved out with my boys … leaving Noodle and I to this big house all alone…I do miss my fireplace but I will have it again in the near future. … I now live in my small 2 bedroom house … when I am there….lol…
I am still happy there although I am always with my boo … where I choose to be…I would never change the fact of seeing my baby first thing in the morning…He has yet to miss a morning with a coffee in one hand and my kisses awaiting me just seconds after I open my eyes…. I kiss my Doodles (rip) before my feet hit the ground…I look forward to seeing my sexy every morning so my little house is beginning to fade as days go by. Speaking of Little house…lol…I love Little House on the Prairie so does my love…We plan to build a house just like Charles & Caroline’s….My baby and I will leave our dream to our children.
The house we speak of is our dream house we planned many years ago…our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren will live out our dream and keep our memory alive.
May~~~
My oldest grandson turned 2 years old on the 2nd . Boy has he grown…Miss you baby…Mie Mie loves you.
My candle business bloomed…I had to get this surgery this month and I have yet to be released to go back to work…All in time I will be back into the working world…
I do however maintain and manage my own home in Maryland. My income alone takes care of my daughter and I, without anyone helping me. I have had my independence since I was 15yrs old. I will always be able to take care of my own as I have done for many years. This will become my 2008 New Years resolution … My baby likes to take care of his women, financially, mentally and most of all physically…heh heh heh…I never found a man like my baby…I believe this is why I had 4 divorces. ..I was the one who had to raise them..to tell you the truth I never had to tell my baby to pay this and that when we were teens living together..
…He always took care of it and I love the fact that he has always been responsible when coming to paying the household bills…God has his ways of testing us … My love must also allow me to help with the household bills, after all I am there too …I will try my best to adapt to this change in my life considering I did it on my own for so many years.….It will be a challenge for me to let a man take care of me in ALL aspects for ONCE.
My friend and I adopted Morgan from the SPCA…I will always be her mommy…I love you Morgan and miss you a whole bunch.
June~~~
I entered the wet t-shirt contest at Vixens…giggles…It was actually the last day in May but ran into wee hours in the morning of this month. .. I had so much fun that night…I did not win but ladies I am sorry I will not lower myself to what these girls did to win…nope not me
My baby and I celebrated his birthday…His special day will be for me to know and you to find out…let me say, He will never forget it…lol..neither will I
I had my last surgery on the 14th , well I have made it my last for now. Level 3, 4 and 5, my doctor burned the end of the nerves on both sides…There is no way of knowing when I will heal…My doctor says, nerves heal on their own and could take years..it all depends on the patient so I must wait it out and take the test to see where things are…I do have problems but nothing I can’t handle.
I was asked if I could give my baby a ride one night and so I did…The things that were going through my head while driving down the interstate…I got my DL for my sexy … I was 17 yrs old and just signed up for Widmyer driving school … As teens we paid for so many taxi rides that we could actually own Turner’s Taxi…its all history from there…I have yet to stop smiling since that night…I love you my sexy sexy…:0)
On the 17th, my baby and I made things official …everyone loved me and everyone could see we were so much in love with each other…our past finally caught up with us and believe it, we started right where we left off..NOW THAT’S TRUE LOVE!
Many months have gone by and we have YET to argue. Everything is so perfect with us although my sexy says we will have our tiffs…I am still waiting for just ONE so we can make up…lol…I am on top of the world with my baby…As a teen, I never knew what I had till it was gone…huggies to my love :0)
July ~~~
I got my divorce final on July 2...This was the true beginning where I started living my life to the fullest. Most of you remember I was only breathing in this world till I found my true love. Last month I said yes to my boo to forever be his …My sexy and I both began our journey together. I love you baby forever and always, we promised…giggles…A joke between us…lmao
August~~~
This month all I wanted was to spend time with my family…I do enjoy seeing my son Ronnie smile…We have so much fun together just him and I…We made a special trip on Monday’s to get our favorite ice-cream. He always invited his friends which made things so much more interesting seeing him laugh and interact with his dad and I. Next year we will continue this tradition since our neighborhood kids looked forward to our ice-cream adventure.
September~~~
My birthday…My baby gave me many surprises. Yes I cried and believe me it was happy tears…He made this birthday so special that it touched my heart. Need I say more :0)
October~~
On the 4th, My love and I was at Vixens … Chyna was there and I will never forget my time with her. She is
the most beautiful person I have ever had the opportunity to meet. She kept saying how beautiful I am and that my friends was one hell of a compliment coming from her. She is very pleasant considering her role on WWF..known today as WWE. That night Chyna had given me a memory that I would never forget. Thank you Chyna for making that night special to your favorite DJ and I. You rocked on stage and rocked our world. We love you!
My baby and I attended the Halloween Party at Vixens … It was a night to remember. We had so much fun that words could never describe. I rather keep this night special in my mind and heart…the thought makes me want to cry for joy.
We celebrated my youngest grandson ‘s first birthday…It was the event that brought my mother and my love facing one another after so many years had past….We had many laughs and I will always remember Julian’s first birthday.
November~~~
I have so much to be thankful for…My love and I loving each other and family that filled our hearts with lots of love. We had a nice family get together and we all were thankful for having each other.
December~~~a month dedicated to love for all occasions…:0)
We celebrated 3 birthdays this month. Our oldest daughter, Amber turned 21 yrs old. We took her out with our friends and family and had yet another night to remember. Niecie you fuckin rock girlfriend…You mean the world to Amber and I. We had our youngest son turn 17. We had a wonderful day and I know he will remember his special day. Our oldest son turned 20 and yes we took him to the nudie bar among other places we visited during his celebration…We love you all and hope we have many more birthdays that include us, your parents…smooches
Than Christmas was around the corner…off we go to buy our stocking stuffers and all the things we needed at the last minute. Waking up with all our babies was such a good feeling considering our babies are grown, well almost, still have 2 to leave the nest. Santa came and all had a Merry Christmas… you must get the Play Station 3...IT FUCKIN ROCKS…Did I tell you I got a GPS from Santa…My Boo surprised me …He given me a beautiful rose glass, with the words I love you. It is beau--it--ful…He also bought a stand that lights it up and goes around and around…I told him we can take the roses he has been given me weekly to Doodles grave. We can at least give Doodles fresh roses weekly.
My baby gave me rose’s that would never die.…I will always cherish the things my love and I put into this xmas to make it an extra special memory for us both. I will always cherish our first Christmas together, after 18 yrs of life lesson’s we deserve to be together to live many more years of happiness.
Our photo’s alone will give you the story of our wild night at Vixens Christmas Party …We had a awesome time hanging out with everyone…BeetleJuice from the Howard Stern Show was there...got my photo taken with him...We are going to Vixen's on New Years Eve to see the midget tossing... Beetle Juice will be there too...Plan to get pics for this big event...Check out the new Christmas album I added to get the full story…giggles
What a blast … I learned so many things this year from relationships, friendships and the valuable lessons our children laid on us as parents….My sexy and I will overcome any situations that god hands us…we are a team working together in this world. I am looking forward in bringing in the New Year with my love, family and our friends.…:0)
Let’s sum up what I have learned over the years
I have been told I was wrong about love so many times but guess what…NOT WRONG BUT FOOLED…this one is it…why because we have both grown and both of us know our past relationships are just mountains, one must climb, must live through to be the perfect match for your soulmate! I have learned from my ex husbands and remember I DONT TAKE SHIT FROM MEN...I DEMAND THE RESPECT and I DO GET IT or I move on!!!!! My Love gives me the up most respect as I will always give him.
YOU will also learn through YOUR life experiences... as I have :0) remember that, I told you so!
I am a stronger women today because of my past relationships.. no matter if it was good or bad I had to go through it..These relationships makes YOU who YOU are today, getting you ready for your soulmate just to complete one another....I value my babies love, I cherish our moments...Its called respecting one another for who they are NOT what you want them to be!!!!…In fact, it has a lot to do with growing up...which I have through my experiences and learning from others experiences.
I was learning about my last marriage and becoming the women I am today...searching for my past love,
just one more time among the many times ...both of us needed to learn from our past relationships...fate has its way of completing a circle and bringing back the one you truly are meant to be with in this life and believe it or not in the next. ….
IMHO..I feel I am special to my love, enough for him to hold my memory and cherish me in his heart all these years...not allowing a soul take my memory and turn into a jealous rage.
You cant go wrong if you follow your heart...looks like he is doing just that and yes he came to that conclusion before I stepped in to his world or I would be dealing with his past relationship issues…we are moving forward, not backwards.
My opinion, about what true love is all about in my world….so learn from me and take my words and walk where I have already been.
To me true love is not fighting, its understanding one another, being there for one another NO MATTER WHAT test god is putting you through at the moment...You can't truly love someone if you want to change them, hurt them or abuse them...unconditionally he is your soulmate without changes being demanded, without hurting the one you claim you love rather its words or physical. One don’t work on a relationship, it comes natural and with a lot of love and affection your true love will be revealed within time. You learn this on your journey while keeping the communication open and pure without feeding the doubts that lead to misery and unhappiness.
We are at this point because both of us have walked in the shoes that many must go through to reach the point we are at. We both went through hell to get to this point in our life.
One there should be no faults and two there should not be any reason for forgiving one for doing wrong toward the one you claim you love in the eyes of many….it should not exist in the first place….do you agree?
Love does not hurt..well its not suppose to..Love comes within two souls who share there all just to become one soul. TRUST and RESPECT for one another is true love..Are you on the same page?
I came across those who may have thought I was a replacement? I would never feel this way, I don’t feel it so therefore, it is just words…:0)
I guess I will wrap this year up as LESSON’S LEARNED…I wish you all a Happy New Year…all my hugs and love go out to my family, friends and the love of my life…as Kermit would say, “Hi Ho, Kermit the frog is here…my baby is calling me…giggles
…peace to all…love me
On that note; let the fun begin for 2008...giggles
